Friday, 14 September 2012

Wii U: The worst thing to happen to Tekken

If you've not seen the Tekken for Wii U trailer look in awe as Nintendo ruins a one respectable game: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DnaLXrjQYc&

At the beginning of summer Tekken was shaping up to overtake Duke Nukem as the coolest game ever created, with Nukem's newest incarnation being something of a flop, Tekken was all set to take the reins with Snoop Dogg recording a Tekken themed song and his image was to appear in a special stage in the game whereupon he would have hoes dancing around him. That is one effective way of creating a cool image for your game. Later in the summer though Snoop Dogg becomes Snoop Lion and everyone double takes "WHAT?" Who suggested he name himself Snoop Lion, to me it sounds like some kind of flower, like a dandelion. Sure lions are fierce animals, but if that's what snoop's going for he's not achieved it. Another larger disaster to the street cred of Tekken is the Wii U release. A Wii U tekken release had the capacity to bring the console some kind of credibility, nintendo is now a joke, designed for children, old people and unfit women (Men are more likely to get fir through sport than a games console). A good hard Tekken game would be appealing to those who still love the adventure games that nintendo is so good at but like the more grown-up titles too.

I love Zelda, like many other 20-somethings, but I'm not buying a Wii U on the strength of it. Tekken is an excellent franchise, a well balanced and appealing fighting game that's audience isn't Nintendo's core demographic. The downfall of the brilliant idea to make Nintendo a little bit cooler is that Nintendo just made Tekken a little bit less cool. Not content with ruining their own fighting game with 'Brawl' now they've managed to ruin my favorite cool fighting game by dredging up their stupid old haggard overused 'favorites' in the form of costumes. Nobody wants to see Kazuya dressed as Link, we want to see Kazuya beat the shit out of his dad and his Son in the same tag battle. We want to see a bear toss his enemy around the arena and destroy him, we don't want to see him dress as Donkey Kong throwing barrels at a cartoon!

Tekken has it's own humor about it, Tekken has a schoolgirl who's inexplicably friends with a panda and an alien swordsman, the humor fits the entire style of the game, Nintendo shoehorning in it's own 'lovable' characters to already well defined character roles is a definite oversight, if there's one thing I'll never tire of it's Tekken's diverse character stories. If there's one thing I'll never find refreshing, it's Nintendo big ideas that their overextended characters are lovable.